By Ed Fisher
For 2+ years I was living in a sexless marriage. Today my wife Allison and I have a wonderful, fulfilling sex life and we are much closer as a result. The big secret? It wasn’t marriage counseling. That almost destroyed our marriage. I fixed my marriage and my sex life using some great products that I found online. These products were created by experts who’ve saved thousands of relationships. They gave me the tools I needed to bring sex back into my marriage and even save my marriage from divorce. Marriage counseling is tricky. It fails too often. It’s dangerous if not done properly. And not having sex is dangerous to your marriage also. More than you might think. At the bottom of this page I have a form for my free email series of great articles I’ve collected that will help you with all of your marriage problems. Don’t forget to sign up and read all about these articles and why they are free here: Marriage Advice article pack. Now, about Sexless Marriage:
According to recent surveys in the USA, nearly 20 million couples have a sexless marriage. Relationship experts define this type of marriage as one in which the couple engages in sexual intimacy no more than ten times in a year. In my case it was even less than that. I would go 6 plus months at a time. For some couples, that type of situation may actually suit them just fine, but for the majority, it is a problem.
The truth is that sex is an important part of marriage because it helps to build and maintain the bonds between you and your spouse. Without sex those bonds will gradually weaken. There is actually a chemical released in the brain during sex called oxytocin that allows people to become more attached to each other. Get the idea? – Sex helps to keep people connected to their spouse in a very real way! Lose the sex and your marriage steadily weakens.
Bringing sex back into the marriage is not straightforward. Men and women need different things when it comes to sex, so it is hard for a man to know what his wife needs to get back in the swing of things and just as difficult for a woman to understand what it will take to get her husband back in the mood. Dealing with the opposite sex can be like dealing with aliens!
Some therapists look to blame a sexless marriage on a lack of sex drive on the part of the wife. This point of view can lead them to prescribe drugs or suggest sexual aids to “spice things up.” This may not be the best approach, and is often just a temporary fix. Often, when a woman seems to have a low desire for sex, it is because she lacks that emotional “connection” with her husband. This can be from arguing, dissatisfaction, stress, or any number of marital problems. If these other problems can be overcome, her sex drive will gradually return as her emotional connection to her husband strengthens.
Similarly, a man experiencing difficulty in the marriage will be reluctant to try to “push” his wife into having sex. He may also have “given up” trying to have sex with her. On one level he may even tell himself that he isn’t “attracted to her” anymore. The reality is, if he started having fulfilling sex with her again, he would quickly find himself just as attracted to her as he ever was. The brain is an amazing organ that literally rewires itself to make that happen.
My point is that attraction is probably not the issue – the lack of emotional connection is. Rebuilding that connection by improving the overall relationship can be an important factor in fixing your sexless marriage and there are proven, tried-and-true methods that many couples have used to strengthen their marriages and get the sex happening again.
What can YOU do to bring the Sex back into your sexless marriage?
First, don’t give up. Sex is more important than you probably realized. Sex is serious business and you should take it seriously enough to seek out the right answers. How do you do that? In my experience counseling costs a lot of money but is rarely effective unless you find the right, specially trained therapist. Too many therapists haven’t been properly trained in couples therapy, and besides: YOU CAN DO THIS YOURSELF just like I did by using some of the great information products available on the internet that can lead you every step of the way.
I have posted some reviews of the products that I used to successfully save my own marriage. Read the reviews to see which ones speak to you. For people struggling with sexless marriage, I recommend that you read my Fix Your Sexless Marriage review which helped me and many others a great deal.
The truth is that you don’t need counseling to solve your sexless marriage. You need to find out why your marriage is sexless. You have to locate expert resources and advice that can show you what has gone wrong. You need to figure out what will work in your situation. And finally, YOU NEED TO TAKE ACTION! Your sexless marriage won’t solve itself even if you know where the problem lies. Read the reviews. Buy the one that sounds best for you – I suggest Fix Your Sexless Marriage would be a great start. Make your marriage the marriage you really want and need, and your spouse will thank you for it. Thank you for reading this far and I wish you luck in fixing your sexless marriage – Ed Fisher