by Ed Fisher

People looking for marriage help have to be careful. As I’ve said before on other blog posts, you should get help, but getting the wrong help can make things even worse. You don’t need just any help – you need expert, proven advice. Asking questions in forums, and reading online articles is easy and cheap, but just where is the advice coming from?

Whoops - could have used some marriage help! (Kris and Kim Divorced in case you didn't know)

Are You Getting Advice From Real Experts? – Because The Wrong Advice Destroys Marriages…

I was once approached by an internet marketer who was selling an ebook on how to make your spouse fall back in love with you. Sounds great, right? Many married people (most, in fact) find that after a few years they just don’t “feel like they are in love anymore.” Now, I think this is a natural way to feel. After all, “in love” is sometimes used to mean “infatuated with” or “obsessed with” as opposed to really loving your partner. It is a feeling that you have very little control over and it always fades to be replaced by a more mature, lasting love.

But, back to my story… The “advice” of that ebook was to use tricks to make your spouse jealous, and jealousy would make them “more attracted” to you. This has to be just about the stupidest thing you can do. Sure, it works in high school all the time. But it hardly ever works when you have had a long term relationship. If your marriage is in trouble and you try to make your spouse jealous, you will drive your spouse further away. Needless to say, I would never be able to endorse a book that was built upon bad advice.

Here’s the thing – I knew it was bad advice, but would you? I learned to save my own marriage and since then I’ve studied what real experts have to say. You could even say that I’m an expert at this point. But are you? Probably not. If you got bad advice, would you know it was bad advice or would you do what was suggested and end up destroying what remains of your relationship?

Stop reading articles you find on the net (except the ones I give you!) and stop hanging out in marriage forums! No advice is good advice unless it comes from a top expert. This counts for friends too – sorry, but even with the best of intentions, their advice is probably wrong.

Marriage Counseling

If you read my story on the front page of this blog, you’ll see that, early on, I went to a marriage counselor who almost ruined my marriage. You would think that she was an expert in marriages since she carried the label of “marriage counselor.” She wasn’t. She was an expert in personal psychology who was probably never actually trained in couple’s therapy. You can read my post on “Does Marriage Counseling Work” For more on that.

Ok. You get my point. Expert advice, REAL EXPERT ADVICE is the best and only way to help your marriage. Expert advice that has been proven to work. I saved my own marriage by following the advice of some of the best marriage experts that there are: Dr. Lee Baucom and Amy Waterman. If you click the names you will be taken to reviews of their products. They have each saved thousands of marriages and have taken their experience of what works and what doesn’t (tested on literally thousands of couples just like you) and put it in a form that you can use to turn things around in your marriage (just like I did). But you can start with this:

I Have Collected the Best Articles for You Already – For Free!

I have collected a bunch of fantastic articles (mostly from Lee Baucom) and turned them into an email series that you can have for free. Just great advice, and I won’t spam you, so go ahead and sign up using the form at the bottom of the page. Or, if you want to know more about the free email series, click this link: Free Marriage Advice Articles. People thank me all the time for this collection of articles, so if you need marriage help, a good start would be to sign up, read the articles and start turning things around.

You bicker. You argue all the time. You yell and fight. Is this the same person you married? So you want to know how to fix a relationship that has gone sour – that seems to be loveless and maybe sexless? The good news is that you can fix your relationship no matter how far gone it seems and even if you are the only one who wants to.

working it out

STOP FIGHTING.

One of the first things to realize is that fighting takes its toll on any relationship. The more you fight, the more emotional distance develops between you. One trick to avoid fighting is to “make an appointment to resolve this” instead of continuing on.  As soon as you start to bicker (and your spouse or partner will have to agree to do this) stop and say that you want to make an appointment to continue this argument.  Perhaps tonight at 7pm. Do not continue the argument. Go get a breath.

You will quickly find that when 7 rolls around and you try to resolve your disagreement, most of your fights were about silly things.  But keep the appointments anyway. This technique is a good way to nip the arguing in the bud so that you can move on with the rebuilding of your relationship. You will be amazed at how much better you seem to get along with your partner when you don’t have bitter (and usually silly) arguments draining your emotional energy.

UNDERSTAND WHAT DRIVES YOUR PARTNER

Of course, when it comes to how to fix a relationship, there is a lot more to it than figuring out how to fight less. Perhaps the most important feature of fixing a relationship is truly understanding your partner and that person’s way of thinking. Women always think men are stupid and men think women are crazy but it’s simply not true. The problem is that the two sexes think differently.  You may have an argument with your spouse and think that their point of view is nuts, but the trick is to understand WHY they have that point of view.

This is all pretty heady stuff and you can’t expect to learn how to fix a relationship by reading articles on the internet. You need to lean on the advice of professionals who have helped countless couples save their relationships. You can try counseling (which only works in 10% of cases!!!) but before you do I recommend checking out the pack of articles that I put together and I will send you for free. I used these articles and the marriage saving products created by the authors of these articles to fix my own relationship with my wife, Allison. Perhaps the biggest danger you face in your quest for information is the mis-information you will run into on the Internet. As I have said many times on this blog, bad advice is much worse than no advice. I only have the best advice in my Marriage Advice Articles package so click the link to read about them and sign up.

If you think that marriage counseling is how to fix a relationship, then the same advice goes as before: marriage counselors often do more harm than good. It pays to educate yourself first, before you even meet with a counselor for the first time so that you can evaluate if that therapist knows what they are talking about. If you read my article Does Marriage Counseling Work, you will find out that more often than not, it doesn’t. You can improve your chances if you do what I did – read the articles and also take a look at the Marriage Help Books which I credit with saving my marriage. I want to wish you good luck because most of the time, relationships are worth saving!  – Ed

If you want some great free advice sign up for my fantastic email article series. Even though it is aimed at saving marriages, this information can help any relationship that is not working. Give it a try – it’s free! – Ed.

Thanks for reading my article on how to fix a relationship and I want to wish you the best of luck – Ed.

Relationship Problems? Not after they got the Right Advice!

When you have relationship problems, there is one key that you have to remember – you are not alone. That may sound cliche but the truth is that your relationship problems are not unique. Amazingly, every couple has to deal with very similar issues and if your relationship is in trouble, I assure you that many, many people have experienced almost exactly the same situation and had their relationship threatened in the same way.

Knowing this, what can you do? Well, these people who have experienced your problem have, in lots of cases, sought professional advice. In turn, professional marriage counselors have listened to them and attempted to offer solutions. Those solutions have either worked or they haven’t. If the solution worked, that counselor has offered the same solution to other couples and seen it work for them too. This all sounds air-fairy and lacking in substance, right? I’m trying to make a point. The solution to your relationship problems – a solution that works – already exists! You just have to know where to look.

If you are familiar with my blog, you know that I consider marriage counseling to be a dangerous proposition. Here is my article which will give you the details on how marriage counseling almost destroyed my marriage: Does Marriage Counseling Work. The problem is not with marriage counseling, per se, but with the lack of truly qualified and experienced marriage counselors (or relationship counselors if you are not married). Most counselors have been trained to deal with individual clients instead of two clients (in reality the relationship should be the client). Techniques that work with individuals such as “say what’s on your mind” are completely inappropriate when there are 2 people present in the session and yet these “counselors” make these fundamental mistakes all the time.

Ok, I’m taking a while to get to my point, so I hope you are still with me. You need the expertise of the best counselors to solve your relationship problems but how to you get to the best counselors who have the experience and training to actually help your relationship and not hurt it? Luckily for you the best counselors have published their findings and their advice on the internet and in books. That’s right. In fact, by reading these articles and books, you can become enough of a relationship expert yourself that you will be able to solve your own relationship problems and also Judge Whether Your Marriage Counselor is helping or hurting your relationship! I have gathered a ton of the best articles by the top, most experienced, and most reliable and successful marriage counselors and I have put them right here: Marriage Advice Articles. Click that link. I did the legwork for you. I vetted the articles. They will help you and more importantly, they will not give you the wrong advice that will hurt your relationship instead of helping it. Your are welcome, my friend!

If your relationship problems are sexual in nature – like you are not having the intimate relationship that is vital for a healthy relationship, you should take a look at my article on sexless marriage.

You can read about my own experiences by visiting the front page of my blog. I saved my own marriage with the help of Lee Baucom and Amy Waterman, the top marriage experts in the business. If you want to skip the articles I have collected and get right to the nitty-gritty of solving your relationship problems, I recommend you read my reviews of these excellent products that I credit with actually saving my marriage. Check out my reviews of Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage and Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage Today. These products helped me solve my relationship problems and inspired my to start this blog to help others. Good Luck! – Ed Fisher
Good luck solving your relationship problems

Does this sound familiar: You look at your spouse and wonder if this is even the same person you married… After all, you fight all the time. You never sleep together. You’re not sure you even love them anymore. You feel like cheating on them or wonder if they have been cheating on you. It’s nothing like it was when you first got marriage and were completely devoted to each other, is it? Should you even try to save a marriage like that?

Absolutely. Too many couples give up and move on to the terrible alternative: divorce. Divorce is no picnic. You can’t escape the knowledge that you failed in your marriage. Imagine the disrupted lives. The overwhelming expense. What about the children if you have them? Maybe you think your kids would be better not to have to hear all the fighting. But you know what’s better? Not fighting anymore!

Look, it’s not easy to save a marriage, but it can be done and it is not as hard as you think. I learned how to save a marriage and you can too. Your spouse may have given up already, but the fact that YOU want to find out the answer indicates that you have the number one most important thing going for you: commitment. Good for you.

The key to improving things is to change the way you look at your spouse. Most of us only have a very unclear idea of our partner’s thinking process; very little understanding of what drives this person to fight and argue with us. Do you know that when your spouse gets angry, the anger is often caused by FEAR? Ask yourself, what is he or she afraid of? Is fear making them defensive? You might find that you can sympathize more with them when you understand where they are coming from. Next time your spouse gets angry at you, instead of lashing out at them defensively and making things worse, calmly take a second to ask yourself what is is that your spouse is afraid of? (Don’t ask your spouse this question or they might hit the roof. This is no time to engage them, wait till the “steam” has passed).

What I just showed you – the Anger/Fear connection – is not obvious. It’s something I picked up from Lee Baucom’s book Save The Marriage. That book is full of great insights that can help you understand your spouse much better. This is knowledge that comes from helping thousands of people save their marriages. Believe it or not, most couples have exactly the same issues driving them apart. It is essential to learn from their mistakes so you can improve your relationship. I’ve put together a whole bunch or articles with tips like that and I give it away for free to people who visit my website. Click the link to take a quick peak at my free Marriage Advice articles. They will help you a lot. I’m not going to rehash it all here in one article – get the package and read all the articles and I promise you will be well on your way to being an expert in how to save a marriage.

The best advice I can give you is to learn from the experts. You are not going to save a marriage by reading articles on the internet. You have to arm yourself with proven strategies that are worth their weight in gold. Check out my home page for my own story and why I recommend the products I talk about below. You should also read Does Marriage Counseling Work if you’re thinking of going down that route.

Please take the time to read the reviews of two products that worked for me and will help to save your marriage, guaranteed. Try them before you spend a lot of money on marriage counseling which in my experience can do more harm than good. These are products that I feel great about endorsing because they literally saved my own marriage and allowed me to understand my wife like never before. The first is Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage and the second is Amy Waterman’s excellent Save My Marriage Today.

These links take you to my review pages. Look over the reviews and then follow the links to read more about them. You will not be disappointed. Your marriage deserves to be saved. You will be astounded by the turn around of your relationship. Good for you for taking the first steps! Good luck – Ed
That’s how to save a marriage so enjoy the articles and good luck.

When I had serious marriage problems, one of the first things I did was search the Internet for any article that could help me. Guess what? There are a lot of really bad sites out there with poorly written articles that look like they were turned out by people who don’t even know how to speak English! Even worse than that is the advice in those articles. Question: What’s worse than not getting advice? Answer: Getting the WRONG advice. And on the Internet, the wrong advice is everywhere.

They look like they got my marriage advice articles!

If you are having problems with your relationship, you need professional help that works. As an example of typical advice you will find on the Internet, practically guaranteed to drive your partner away, is this: “Make your spouse jealous to rekindle their desire for you.” How many times have you come across that nugget? You probably aren’t in High School anymore. If you try to make your spouse jealous, you will absolutely NOT make them more attracted to you. You will make them angry, upset and several steps closer to divorce.

I filtered out all that nonsense and put together a package of the best marriage advice articles that can be found anywhere. These articles are written by people who actually know how to save marriages. The best in the business. I didn’t write them myself because I’m not a professional. I know a lot about what it takes to fix marriages but your marriage is too important to trust to me alone!

Here’s a sampling of topics:

Can You Really Save a Marriage if Only One Wants to?

Why having that big “talk” doesn’t work

What to do when you are suffering “Communication Breakdown”

What if you don’t “feel Loved”

What to Do if you Drive Each other Crazy

(and lots more)

How many marriage advice articles are there? There are more than 30. I send you 16 emails over several weeks and each email has 2-3 great articles. I don’t send them all at once because, trust me, you don’t want to be overwhelmed with this information. It has to sit with you and percolate and pretty soon you’ll start to understand what you need to do to make things better in your marriage. What don’t you get with my marriage articles? Spam! I will not, I repeat WILL NOT share your email address with anyone, ever. And this stuff is all automated – there’s a little link at the bottom of each email that allows you to unsubscribe if you wish. And then you won’t hear from me again. That’s fair, right?

So why am I giving you these articles? Am I, Ed Fisher, some kind of saint? Well, I like to think so! But also you’ll notice that I give credit to the authors of the articles in every email and a link to their website. If you are impressed with what you have read, and you decide to go to the marriage expert’s website and buy their product (which saved my marriage, after all!) then I will get a commission. That commission is what allows me to give you the emails and run this website. Keeps me from digging into my own pocket. Now I know that many of you will not want to spend any money, and that’s up to you, but enough of you will decide that your marriage is worth $50 and those people will be subsidizing the rest of you. Either way, these articles will help you turn your marriage around because they are THAT good. I Get emails all the time from people THANKING ME FOR THE GREAT ADVICE. People tell me all the time that when they read the articles they felt like they were reading about their own marriage. You’ll see, I’ll bet you’ll want to thank me too.

So that about covers the Free marriage advice email package. Like I said, this is spam free and you can unsubscribe at any time. So no risk to you. No privacy issues. I don’t look to see what your name is or anything. I am far too busy. What I really want is for you to read these articles and figure out what you can do to save your marriage. It is my strongest belief that your marriage is worth saving and can be saved (unless there is abuse in which case you should be trying to figure out how to leave that marriage – really). Don’t let your marriage fail without a fight. You will regret it in the long run.

Here is the sign-up form and after you confirm your email address you will get your first articles right away. Check your Spam folder if you don’t. Thanks for reading, and GOOD LUCK. I hope the marriage advice found in these articles will help you save your marriage like they did for me.
These articles will give you the marriage advice you need, good luck.

by Ed Fisher

Online marriage counseling sounds attractive to people who, for whatever reason, find it impossible to visit a marriage counselor where they live. Of course, the same problem that applies to marriage counselors also applies to online marriage counseling: counseling only helps 1 in 10 marriages. 50% of couples who choose counseling end up divorced. A 10% customer satisfaction rate sounds terrible, and it is. The message is that choosing the right marriage counselor, in person or online, is crucial.

Too many therapists trained to handle the problems of individuals think that they are capable of counseling couples. Unfortunately, marital therapy is very different from individual therapy. The techniques that work in individual therapy – getting feelings out in the open for example – can actually destroy a relationship. Marriage counseling is a very delicate business involving vulnerable people who are angry, desperate, easily hurt and often have many complex issues to deal with. The focus must be on the relationship, however, not the individual. “Putting everything on the table” is the worst thing you can do and yet it is typical of wrongheaded counselors and happened in my own marriage counseling experience.

So what can you do if you are looking for online marriage counseling? Step one is to sign up for the free email article packs that I have created. I spent a lot of time collecting the best articles online and putting them into email packs to share with you for free. I don’t spam. Read about it here: Marriage Advice Articles or just sign up (The form is at the bottom of the page).

Your second step when considering online marriage counseling should be to do what I recommend that everyone does when considering counseling: explore the online resources that are reviewed on this site: read Mike Mandelson’s review of Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage Today and my own review of Save The Marriage by Lee Baucom (links open in new window). Choose the program(s) which seems like the best fit for you. These programs are created by people with a large amount of marriage counseling experience and are very successful at helping people improve and save their marriages on their own. Guaranteed to help. They saved my marriage and inspired me to build this site.

These proven programs are more effective than online marriage counseling. The truth is that you have more power than you think to save your own marriage, even if your spouse is not interested. You just need the tools that experienced professionals can give you. So I urge you to read the reviews of these top marriage products and try them out. I saved my own marriage (that a marriage counselor almost destroyed) by using these programs so I speak from experience. Just take a look at the front page of this blog for my story.

One of the problems with online marriage counseling is that you can waste a lot of expensive one-on-one time with the online marriage counselor as that person essentially teaches you some human psychology so that you understand why you and your spouse act the way you do etc. etc. and this type of valuable information is best served to you in the inexpensive programs I recommend. So get the programs, read them and watch the videos and you will probably save your marriage without ever needing a counselor. If you still want more online marriage counseling, you will be much better prepared to make the most of it and will accomplish your goals in much less time. Good Luck!
That’s online marriage counseling for you, good luck.

Click to Read My Review of Save The Marriage

The two best marriage help books that I recommend are Dr. Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage and Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage Today. For those needing help bringing sex back into a sexless marriage, take a look at my review of Fix Your Sexless Marriage. Baucom’s book was the first marriage help book that I ever read and I credit it with saving my own marriage after my relationship was almost destroyed by marriage counseling. (More on that on the front page of this blog: Save Your Marriage). It literally inspired me to spread the word with this blog because I was so grateful. The beauty of all of these recommended books is that they are available as “ebooks” which means you buy and download them online with all of the advantages such as – email consultation with the experts, instant access, no embarrassment that comes with buying a marriage help book in a bookstore, 60 day money-back guarantees, etc. etc.. So read the reviews to see which is the best for you.

Can a Marriage Help Book Save Your Marriage?

Absolutely. When you have problems in your marriage, you must turn to outside help to get things fixed. That means marriage counseling or marriage books. All couples in trouble have the same problems that show up again and again. The truth is, you are not alone. You can easily learn from what others have gone through. The solutions that worked for everyone else will likely help you as well. This is why a marriage help book will likely be more valuable to you than marriage counseling. Why should you pay a marriage counselor thousands of dollars (over time) only to discover that your problems are the same problems that other couples have overcome and you could have easily worked on with the help of a book? Of course, “lack of value” is not the only thing wrong with marriage counseling. Counseling can actually ruin your marriage – take a look at my article Does Marriage Counseling Work for more on that.

Click Here to Read a Review of Save My Marriage Today

In my own case, these books proved to be a treasure trove. The wisdom contained in each helped me to understand and feel more compassion to my wife. I also understood myself more – why I was so touchy and defensive all the time and what I could do to change my behavior in ways that quickly reduced the conflict in my marriage. I also learned the secret emotions that were driving my wife’s actions and making me think she was “crazy.” She wasn’t crazy at all, but I was just not able to “read” what was really going on. I discovered what I was doing that was driving her away and making me look “stupid” in her eyes.

Can Marriage Help Books Be Useful Combined with Counseling?

Yes. I don’t recommend marriage counseling for most couples because it can destroy your marriage, but if you or your spouse is determined to take that route, you must prepare yourself by reading these books before you go. Not only do you need to educate yourself on the pitfalls of traditional counseling, you also will save a lot of time and money if you know the “relationship basics” before you go to counseling. Do you really want to pay your marriage counselor $100-$200 per hour to teach you stuff you could have learned in an afternoon with the right book? You can move much faster if you start your counseling further ahead – not learning the basics in a very expensive setting.

The great thing about a marriage help book is that you can take control of your relationship quickly. One thing that I have found frustrating with traditional marriage counseling is that the once per week sessions are too far apart. I want results and taking little steps each week is a slow way to go. Being better prepared will let you move through your counseling sessions much more quickly.

Click For My Review of Fix Your Sexless Marriage

For many people, counseling isn’t even necessary at all. Marriage help books are, in a sense, just like having your own counselor. If you are having trouble in your marriage, by all means, picking up these books should be the first thing you do. All are available as downloads so you an literally have them in front of you in minutes without the potential embarrassment of going to a bookstore. Both also come with great bonus articles, support and loads of extra help that you wont get in books you find at a traditional bookstore.

You will be amazed at how you can fix things in your marriage by putting these programs into practice. Make sure you read the reviews of both marriage help books: Save My Marriage today by Amy Waterman and Save the Marriage by Lee Baucom. Both helped to save my own marriage and that’s why I can endorse these marriage help books without reservation.These are the best marriage help books so I wish you the best.

Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage Today is perhaps the most popular marriage saving system on the internet. Amy has saved literally thousands of marriages and this ebook and system is recommended by none other than Dr. Lee Baucom of Save The Marriage fame. I was very impressed with this course – it is so much more than just a book. I am preparing my own in depth review but in the meantime I have uploaded a review by guest reviewer Mike Mandelson that I think covers all the bases. Make sure you click through to the website to see all of the current extras being offered. This system is a great investment in your marriage put together by people who really know their stuff. – Ed Fisher

Save My Marriage Today Review By Mike Mandelson

I get the opportunity to review a lot of products that come across my desk, so the prospect of writing a Save My Marriage Today review didn’t really excite me. That was, until recently when I met Amy Waterman. Amy, online author of Save My Marriage TodayAsked me to have a look over her course and tell her what I thought. At first I was skeptical, but I thought, hey, I have friends who are in bad marriages, and this information might be good for one of them, so I decided to read it closely and see what insights it could offer me about reconnecting and improving relationships.

Amy Waterman really knows her stuff

By the time I had finished, I was hooked and itching to write my Save The Marriage Today Review! I realized for the first time, that this book would be absolutely essential for couples who are serious about solving their marital difficulties, and I don’t just mean young couples either. This book applies to couples young and old. No matter what your marriage situation, if you are male or female, or how many years you have been married, there are tips and tools that can assist every couple with developing sound communication and conflict resolution techniques.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE SAVE MY MARRIAGE TODAY WEBSITE

Everybody knows someone who is in a difficult or failing marriage, or it may even be you…..

Nobody said marriage was ever going to be easy, and if they did, they were lying. It’s perfectly normal in a marriage to have disagreements and times when things involve a little more effort than they used to. In an ideal world we would sit and talk about these changes and differences in a calm and rational manner, and establish an outcome and move on. Unfortunately things don’t always work like that. Its all too easy to get caught up in the moment and let things deteriorate to the point where you are both wondering why you are still in it.

Amy has developed a course that encourages couples to break the ice and develop ways to interact and strengthen their failing relationship. She deals with topics such as:

My first impression of the course was how well laid out it is, in neat, graphically designed ebooks. This is someone who takes their craft seriously and I am immediately confident that I have purchased a professional course that takes both me and my marriage seriously.

I was also pretty impressed with the content, not only with the theory but the accompanying exercises at the end of many chapters that helped cement the concepts and apply it to real life marriages.

The other thing that impressed me is the sheer volume of information, both in the two main Save My Marriage Today ebooks, but also the accompanying bonus ebooks as well. In total it is one of the most comprehensive marriage saving courses I have seen assembled!

Over 2 million couples divorce every year, and many of those could have been avoided if those couples communicated and applied the techniques that Amy shows us in her life-changing course. She can’t work miracles and save every marriage, but if you are serious about resurrecting the love you once had for your partner and saving your marriage, you should maximize your chances and read and apply the relationship advice that Amy has to offer.

Amy is able to identify where you have been going wrong, and shows you how to avoid those crucial mistakes that actually jeopardize your chances of saving your failing marriage.

In addition to this she has included a free email consultation so that customers can discuss any specific problems or further clarification that the course doesn’t already cover.

I really do believe Amy is onto a good thing here, and she really can help you save your marriage!

The techniques she reveals are thought provoking and have been proven over and over to help save marriages. I was very impressed when I finished reading this material and have recommended it to everyone I know.

But don’t take my word for it, see for yourself! Take a look at:

SAVE MY MARRIAGE TODAY WEBSITE

I hope you enjoyed reading my Save My Marriage Today review.

by Ed Fisher

My name is Ed Fisher and I was having terrible marriage problems. If you click here you can read my story. My wife Allison and I tried marriage counseling and that nearly destroyed our relationship. I wasn’t about to give up, and in my research I discovered something that marriage counselors don’t want you to know: you can solve your own marriage problemsYOURSELF, without a counselor’s “help”. Even if your spouse doesn’t want to try. I saved my marriage and I’ve become something of a relationship expert in the process.

Was it once like this? What happened?

I know that even if your marriage problems are caused by affairs, fighting over little things, sexless marriage, or even just the feeling that you are growing apart and no longer feel like you are “in love”, you can turn things around. And don’t forget: Divorce is a terrible thing, no matter how attractive it might currently seem to you or your spouse. You must do everything you can to save your marriage.

True Story:

A few months ago, my friend’s wife left him. She was having an affair and my friend moved into his own apartment and left his kids with his wife. His own mother and father had divorced and remarried when he was a boy. When his mother found out what was going on, she sent him a long, heartfelt letter. She pleaded with him to do whatever it takes to salvage his marriage because 30 years later she still has not forgiven herself for letting her own marriage fail. She sometimes felt overwhelmed with guilt for breaking up her childrens’ home. She didn’t try hard enough when her marriage fell apart. She didn’t try hard enough to love his father.  How will this story end? I don’t know. But I know that the letter made my friend think long and hard about what is important and ultimately how to save his marriage.

This is the absolute truth – your marriage is the most important relationship you will ever have with another human being. And it’s hard sometimes to remember that you and your spouse are… just human beings. Neither of you is perfect. Sometimes we have very high expectations for our spouse and we have trouble accepting them for who they are. We see other people and fantasize that these new people would be a better match for us. But we picked our spouse for a reason. More often than not, your spouse is a great match for you and you for them. So, unless there is abuse in the relationship, your marriage is worth fighting for. You probably already knew that.

If you haven’t already gotten a divorce, it’s not too late to fix things. And, oddly enough, it is very possible to save your marriage even if your spouse is not interested in trying. Here’s the thing – you do need professional help. You will never find what you need by reading articles on the internet. I read tons of articles. Most of them are written by people out to make a quick buck or by people who think they know everything but they really don’t. In short, a lot of what you read on the internet is Dangerous to your marriage!

For example, I came across a product aimed at people with marriage problems that basically says you can make your spouse jealous as a way of igniting their passion for you. Sure, that works in high school… but it does not work in marriage. Manipulation will drive you further apart, guaranteed. The sad thing is, I’m sure lots of people have bought this product and think that they’re helping things when they’re not.  It’s not just sad, it’s a tragedy.

But… There are people out there who can help you. I have collected a whole bunch of fantastic articles by the best in the business – people who are trusted because their advice is real and it works. I’ve put them into an email series that I will give you for free. Just sign up with the form at the bottom of this page to start reading priceless advice. I’m not going to spam you, don’t worry.

What about Marriage Counseling?

A lot of people believe in marriage counseling but there are huge pitfalls. Unfortunately, most marriage counselors are not trained to deal with couples. They are trained to do individual therapy and they add marriage counseling to their practice to “drum up more business.” The problem is that what works for individuals – “letting it all hang out,” basically, is a disaster for couples. If you and your spouse share too much of what is bothering you in your relationship, you will drive them further away. This is one of the reasons that marriage counseling fails most of the time and ends up wasting a ton of time and money.

The truth is that there are products on the market, easily available, that can help you to solve your marriage problems on your own. They work because most couples have the exact same problems and there are tried, tested, and proven ways of solving these problems. I suggest you read my reviews of these products – Look to the right for links – and decide if one or more of them is right for you. They cost a fraction of what marriage counseling costs and at the very least they can be used to prepare you for marriage counseling so that you can make the most of your sessions. The first one I ever bought and the one that I credit with solving my marriage problems is Save The Marriage by Dr.Lee Baucom.

Can I really Save My Marriage?

Yes. But please, sign up for the free email series. It is worth a million bucks. You’ll see! Do everything you can to save your marriage, because it is worth it. Read the reviews of the products I recommend. They are great and helped me and they can help you. I wish you good luck. You are doing the right thing. In this day and age, too many people divorce without really thinking about how much harm divorce does to everyone – themselves included. Your marriage problems can be solved.

My friend just posted a review of his coffee maker so I told him I’d link to it. Click on this link to read his Keurig B60 Review (Facebook) if you want a new coffee maker. Or don’t! Just helping him out.

Does marriage counseling work? The short answer is NOT USUALLY. Only 8-10% of couples that try marriage counseling report any improvement in their relationship and a staggering 50% of couples that go to counseling get divorced – not much different than average. At $100-$200 per hour, marriage counselling seems like a waste of money, and if you are not careful it can actually DESTROY your marriage. But there are things you can do make sure that marriage counseling helps your marriage instead of hurting it…

As Lee Baucom points out in his excellent book Save The Marriage, (click here to read my Save The Marriage Review) the biggest problem is that most marriage counselors are not qualified to do the job. They have been trained for individual therapy which is very different from relationship therapy. They add marriage counseling to their regular practice as a way to drum up more business. The techniques that work so well in individual therapy (getting everything off of your chest, uncensored sharing of feelings etc.) will actually widen the gulf between you and your spouse. Does it sound like a good idea to tell your spouse everything that’s on your mind?!? Of course not. That’s how you hurt them, embarrass them, and make them resent you. And yet, that destructive “opening up” is exactly what most marriage counselors encourage! That’s why it’s vital that the counselor you choose has been trained SPECIFICALLY in marital therapy.

Your marriage is the most important relationship in your life. Everyone goes through periods when they don’t get along well with their spouse and the love doesn’t seem to be there. (I did! Read my own story on the front page of this blog!)  Thankfully, it is within your power to turn things around and have the marriage you want.  Seeking professional help (which is probably why you are thinking of marriage counseling) is the smartest thing you can do.  But prepare yourself.  You have to be able to tell if your marriage counselor is helping you or hurting you and the only way to do that is to be a bit of a relationship expert yourself – before you start your marriage counseling (and preferably before you even choose a marriage counselor.)

I recommend that you do what I did: read the book I mentioned earlier,  Save The Marriage by Lee Baucom.  Dr. Baucom is a very respected, successful marriage counselor and has sold over 63000 copies of his ebook over the internet to people like you. You can download it to your computer and read it in an afternoon.

I enthusiastically recommend it because it worked for me, and my wife Allison. 

When you read it, you will be amazed at how Dr. Baucom seems to be writing about YOUR marriage. That’s because in all his years of marriage counseling, the same issues have come up again and again – and they apply to almost every couple.  When I read Save The Marriage for the first time I instantly understood my relationship, and my wife,  to a degree that I didn’t think was possible (and I knew right then I was going to share my experience on this blog!). It’s THAT powerful.CLICK HERE TO READ MY REVIEW OF SAVE THE MARRIAGE BY LEE BAUCOM, PhD. (opens in a new window).

After reading Save The Marriage,  you may decide to follow Dr. Baucom’s steps to turn your marriage around on your own, or you may still want to go to counseling. If you go to marriage counseling,  you will be PREPARED to make the most of it. You don’t want to waste many sessions (at $150 per hour) with the counselor teaching you stuff  you should already know.  Worse still, you won’t be able to tell if the counselor is helping or hurting your marriage until it’s too late.

If you want some solid advice, you can sign up to receive my FREE collection of fantastic marriage articles (most of which are written by Lee Baucom)  The 6th email is all about what you need to know about marriage counseling. Sign up with the form at the bottom of this page. you’ll thank me like many people have. Or Click this link to read about the articles and why I give them away: Marriage articles  

If you are still reading, I might as well share my own experience with marriage counseling… which was not good. I found that the therapist was a nice enough lady and seemed to say the right things, but every so often she advised things that I KNEW were bad ideas that would undermine my relationship with my wife. How did I know? Because I had already become an expert by going though the programs I’ve mentioned. 

We went to five sessions in all at $200 per session. What struck me is that I learned very little in those sessions except that we had a problem. We would do “airy-fairy” exercises as homework that, for the life of me, I could not see the value in. And then we would wait another whole week until our next session. Talk about slow progress!

My wife decided that she wanted to go to a session on her own to deal with her specific problems – mainly anxiety. I thought it was a great idea. But when she came back from the session, I knew something was wrong. The therapist had ignored all of our previous couples sessions, and what she should have known about our history, and basically said to my wife that I was making her mad. No kidding. I could just as easily say that my wife is the one making me mad! So my wife was withdrawn and resentful of me for days before she snapped out of it and realized that the therapist had made things a lot worse. we stopped seeing her after that and our marriage is all the better for it.

The bottom line is that if I hadn’t gone through the programs that I recommend on this site, I wouldn’t have known how to cope with that situation and I wouldn’t have been able to tell that our therapist was doing more harm than good. Educate yourself first!

Does Marriage counseling work? I still think it can work if you are careful and prepared. Follow this link to the front page of the blog: Does Marriage Counseling Work to read my story and get more information on the two programs that inspired me to make this website  after I used them to save my marriage. I want you to know something: you can do it. Hang in there. Your marriage is worth it. You will be happier than ever before. Good Luck!  – Ed
Thanks for reading does marriage counseling work and good luck to you in turning your marriage around. A buddy of mine just wrote a review of his coffee maker – check it out here if you are looking for a Keurig B60.